如果父親大人知道我在blog裡寫些擔心他健康的說話，他一定覺得啼笑皆非，然後又好笑又氣憤地說：我又不是要死！空擔心些什麼！
然而那份驗身報告，卻令我整夜未眠。
Sunday, November 30, 2008
Friday, November 28, 2008
Corporate Lessons
Lesson 1:
A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her shower, when the doorbell rings.The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs downstairs. When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next-door neighbor. Before she says a word, Bob says,
'I'll give you $800 to drop that towel.'
After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel and stands naked in front of Bob. After a few seconds, Bob hands her $800 and leaves. The woman wraps back up in the towel and goes back upstairs. When she gets to the bathroom, her husband asks,
'Who was that?'
'It was Bob the next door neighbor,' she replies.
'Great,' the husband says, 'did he say anything about the $800 he owes me?'
Moral of the story:
If you share critical information pertaining to credit and risk with your shareholders in time, you may be in a position to prevent avoidable exposure.
Lesson 2:
A priest offered a nun a lift. She got in and crossed her legs, forcing her gown to reveal a leg. The priest nearly had an accident. After controlling the car, he stealthily slid his hand up her leg. The nun said,
'Father, remember Psalm 129?'
The priest removed his hand. But, changing gears, he let his hand slide up her leg again. The nun once again said,
'Father, remember Psalm 129?'
The priest apologized, 'Sorry sister but the flesh is weak.'
Arriving at the convent, the nun sighed heavily and went on her way. On his arrival at the church, the priest rushed to look up Psalm 129. It said,
'Go forth and seek, further up, you will find glory.'
Moral of the story:
If you are not well informed in your job, you might miss a great opportunity.
Lesson 3:
A sales rep, an administration clerk, and the manager are walking to lunch when they find an antique oil lamp. They rub it and a Genie comes out. The Genie says,
'I'll give each of you just one wish.'
'Me first! Me first!' says the admin clerk. 'I want to be in the Bahamas, driving a speedboat, without a care in the world.'
Puff! She's gone.
'Me next! Me next!' says the sales rep. 'I want to be in Hawaii , relaxing on the beach with my personal masseuse, an endless supply of Pina Coladas and the love of my life.'
Puff! He's gone.
'OK, you're up,' the Genie says to the manager.
The manager says, 'I want those two back in the office after lunch.'
Moral of the story:
Always let your boss have the first say.
Lesson 4
An eagle was sitting on a tree resting, doing nothing. A small rabbit saw the eagle and asked him,
'Can I also sit like you and do nothing?'
The eagle answered: 'Sure, why not.'
So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the eagle and rested. All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it.
Moral of the story:
To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very high up.
Lesson 5
A turkey was chatting with a bull.
'I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree' sighed the turkey, 'but I haven't got the energy.'
'Well, why don't you nibble on some of my droppings?' replied the bull. They're packed with nutrients.'
The turkey pecked at a lump of dung, and found it actually gave him enough strength to reach the lowest branch of the tree. The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch. Finally after a fourth night, the turkey was proudly perched at the top of the tree. He was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot him out of the tree.
Moral of the story:
Bull shit might get you to the top, but it won't keep you there..
Lesson 6
A little bird was flying south for the winter. It was so cold the bird froze and fell to the ground into a large field. While he was lying there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on him. As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung, he began to realize how warm he was. The dung was actually thawing him out! He lay there all warm and happy, and soon began to sing for joy. A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate. Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow dung, and promptly dug him out and ate him.
Morals of the story:
(1) Not everyone who shits on you is your enemy.
(2) Not everyone who gets you out of shit is your friend.
(3) And when you're in deep shit, it's best to keep your mouth shut!
Lesson 7
When the body was first made, all the parts wanted to be boss. The brain said,
'I should be boss because I control the whole body's responses and functions.'
The feet said, 'We should be boss as we carry the brain about and get him to where he wants to go.'
The hands said, 'We should be the boss because we do all the work and earn all the money.'
And so it went on and on with the heart, the lungs and the eyes until finally the asshole spoke up. All the parts laughed at the idea of the asshole being the boss. So the asshole went on strike, blocked itself up and refused to work. Within a short time the eyes became crossed, the hands clenched, the feet twitched, the heart and lungs began to panic and the brain fevered. Eventually they all decided that the asshole should be the boss, so the motion was passed. All the other parts did all the work while the boss just sat and passed out the shit!
Moral of the story:
You don't need brains to be a boss - any asshole will do.
A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her shower, when the doorbell rings.The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs downstairs. When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next-door neighbor. Before she says a word, Bob says,
'I'll give you $800 to drop that towel.'
After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel and stands naked in front of Bob. After a few seconds, Bob hands her $800 and leaves. The woman wraps back up in the towel and goes back upstairs. When she gets to the bathroom, her husband asks,
'Who was that?'
'It was Bob the next door neighbor,' she replies.
'Great,' the husband says, 'did he say anything about the $800 he owes me?'
Moral of the story:
If you share critical information pertaining to credit and risk with your shareholders in time, you may be in a position to prevent avoidable exposure.
Lesson 2:
A priest offered a nun a lift. She got in and crossed her legs, forcing her gown to reveal a leg. The priest nearly had an accident. After controlling the car, he stealthily slid his hand up her leg. The nun said,
'Father, remember Psalm 129?'
The priest removed his hand. But, changing gears, he let his hand slide up her leg again. The nun once again said,
'Father, remember Psalm 129?'
The priest apologized, 'Sorry sister but the flesh is weak.'
Arriving at the convent, the nun sighed heavily and went on her way. On his arrival at the church, the priest rushed to look up Psalm 129. It said,
'Go forth and seek, further up, you will find glory.'
Moral of the story:
If you are not well informed in your job, you might miss a great opportunity.
Lesson 3:
A sales rep, an administration clerk, and the manager are walking to lunch when they find an antique oil lamp. They rub it and a Genie comes out. The Genie says,
'I'll give each of you just one wish.'
'Me first! Me first!' says the admin clerk. 'I want to be in the Bahamas, driving a speedboat, without a care in the world.'
Puff! She's gone.
'Me next! Me next!' says the sales rep. 'I want to be in Hawaii , relaxing on the beach with my personal masseuse, an endless supply of Pina Coladas and the love of my life.'
Puff! He's gone.
'OK, you're up,' the Genie says to the manager.
The manager says, 'I want those two back in the office after lunch.'
Moral of the story:
Always let your boss have the first say.
Lesson 4
An eagle was sitting on a tree resting, doing nothing. A small rabbit saw the eagle and asked him,
'Can I also sit like you and do nothing?'
The eagle answered: 'Sure, why not.'
So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the eagle and rested. All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it.
Moral of the story:
To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very high up.
Lesson 5
A turkey was chatting with a bull.
'I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree' sighed the turkey, 'but I haven't got the energy.'
'Well, why don't you nibble on some of my droppings?' replied the bull. They're packed with nutrients.'
The turkey pecked at a lump of dung, and found it actually gave him enough strength to reach the lowest branch of the tree. The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch. Finally after a fourth night, the turkey was proudly perched at the top of the tree. He was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot him out of the tree.
Moral of the story:
Bull shit might get you to the top, but it won't keep you there..
Lesson 6
A little bird was flying south for the winter. It was so cold the bird froze and fell to the ground into a large field. While he was lying there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on him. As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung, he began to realize how warm he was. The dung was actually thawing him out! He lay there all warm and happy, and soon began to sing for joy. A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate. Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow dung, and promptly dug him out and ate him.
Morals of the story:
(1) Not everyone who shits on you is your enemy.
(2) Not everyone who gets you out of shit is your friend.
(3) And when you're in deep shit, it's best to keep your mouth shut!
Lesson 7
When the body was first made, all the parts wanted to be boss. The brain said,
'I should be boss because I control the whole body's responses and functions.'
The feet said, 'We should be boss as we carry the brain about and get him to where he wants to go.'
The hands said, 'We should be the boss because we do all the work and earn all the money.'
And so it went on and on with the heart, the lungs and the eyes until finally the asshole spoke up. All the parts laughed at the idea of the asshole being the boss. So the asshole went on strike, blocked itself up and refused to work. Within a short time the eyes became crossed, the hands clenched, the feet twitched, the heart and lungs began to panic and the brain fevered. Eventually they all decided that the asshole should be the boss, so the motion was passed. All the other parts did all the work while the boss just sat and passed out the shit!
Moral of the story:
You don't need brains to be a boss - any asshole will do.
Thursday, November 13, 2008
Piazzolla Bandoneon Concerto
Ravel Alborada del gracioso
Piazzolla Bandoneon Concerto
Marquez Danzon No.2
Golijov Azul
Yo-Yo Ma (Cello)
Michael Ward-Bergeman (Accordion)
Jamey Jaddad (Percussion)
keita Igawa (Percussion)
Lan Shui conducting Hong Kong Philharmomic
Yo-Yo Ma的演出真的很令人感動，多得他才full house。我喜歡Piazzolla，不過concerto又好像是另一回事，有點太勉強的感覺。Golijov Azul 不提也罷，一向不是我杯茶。
聽著聽著，突然覺得或許她也在場，多年前她說過很喜歡Piazzolla。不過，都是多年前的事了。
Piazzolla Bandoneon Concerto
Marquez Danzon No.2
Golijov Azul
Yo-Yo Ma (Cello)
Michael Ward-Bergeman (Accordion)
Jamey Jaddad (Percussion)
keita Igawa (Percussion)
Lan Shui conducting Hong Kong Philharmomic
Yo-Yo Ma的演出真的很令人感動，多得他才full house。我喜歡Piazzolla，不過concerto又好像是另一回事，有點太勉強的感覺。Golijov Azul 不提也罷，一向不是我杯茶。
聽著聽著，突然覺得或許她也在場，多年前她說過很喜歡Piazzolla。不過，都是多年前的事了。
Wednesday, November 12, 2008
給Ellen的email
親愛的Ellen,
三年來，你不斷給我驚喜。一次又一次，我為你的細心程度讚歎不已。
你為我做的，我每樣也記得，好像上午我才咳嗽了幾聲，下午你已將藥和喉糖放在桌上；你記得幫我買supplement，還記得每樽可以吃多久，在一樽快要吃完時，新的已買回來了；放公司裡乾洗完的西裝永遠得三套，如果多了，你會自動放到我的車子裡，讓我帶回家不要累積在公司。
以上都是冰山一角的例子，我從沒要求你幫我做，你卻自發性地主動去做，令我十分感動。
如今你要辭職嫁人了，真的令我十分惶遽失措，沒有了你，以後怎麼辦？找一個好秘書跟找一個好老婆一樣困難！要知道，不是每個人也能忍受我的冷漠、我的情緒、我的爛gag和我的脾氣。難得你對我處處容忍，了解我的喜惡。有時比我媽更囉嗦去關心我，有時比我更man去硬著頭皮跟航空公司職員爭取機票，或是發惡與酒商討價還價，有時像警覺性高的看門犬（抱歉這樣形容不過你和我都是愛動物的人相信你不介意）收很多風集齊很多料次次風暴來前都warn定我，我對你真的十分敬佩！有時候我聽到你講電話時的勞氣，也很想為你沖杯蔘茶！
抱歉你的last day我又在上海，我回來時見到你的位置已坐著一個陌生的秘書時，還有你放在我桌上親手寫的note和一包冬蟲草時，我才真真切切地掛念你所有的好！希望你嫁得好，做厭了幸福少奶奶時，而又不介意重投我懷抱，我必讓你重回我身邊。Thanks my dear.
祝
安好
你的賤格老細
Hiro
三年來，你不斷給我驚喜。一次又一次，我為你的細心程度讚歎不已。
你為我做的，我每樣也記得，好像上午我才咳嗽了幾聲，下午你已將藥和喉糖放在桌上；你記得幫我買supplement，還記得每樽可以吃多久，在一樽快要吃完時，新的已買回來了；放公司裡乾洗完的西裝永遠得三套，如果多了，你會自動放到我的車子裡，讓我帶回家不要累積在公司。
以上都是冰山一角的例子，我從沒要求你幫我做，你卻自發性地主動去做，令我十分感動。
如今你要辭職嫁人了，真的令我十分惶遽失措，沒有了你，以後怎麼辦？找一個好秘書跟找一個好老婆一樣困難！要知道，不是每個人也能忍受我的冷漠、我的情緒、我的爛gag和我的脾氣。難得你對我處處容忍，了解我的喜惡。有時比我媽更囉嗦去關心我，有時比我更man去硬著頭皮跟航空公司職員爭取機票，或是發惡與酒商討價還價，有時像警覺性高的看門犬（抱歉這樣形容不過你和我都是愛動物的人相信你不介意）收很多風集齊很多料次次風暴來前都warn定我，我對你真的十分敬佩！有時候我聽到你講電話時的勞氣，也很想為你沖杯蔘茶！
抱歉你的last day我又在上海，我回來時見到你的位置已坐著一個陌生的秘書時，還有你放在我桌上親手寫的note和一包冬蟲草時，我才真真切切地掛念你所有的好！希望你嫁得好，做厭了幸福少奶奶時，而又不介意重投我懷抱，我必讓你重回我身邊。Thanks my dear.
祝
安好
你的賤格老細
Hiro
Sunday, November 2, 2008
一去不回來
一下機，左邊膝蓋就抽痛起來，不是因為坐飛機，從上海回來的短途而已。我勉強走著，結果要在抵港的走廊邊坐下休息，左邊的膝蓋一直在痛，我懷疑上次打球時拉傷了？或是今次工幹喝得太多終於得了痛風病？幾分鐘後才起身離開。
心裡惆悵，還答應了Marie一回來就去她的birthday party。我拿著行理，全身的骨頭都在痛，走起來一拐一拐，很擔心地打給做內科的老友Phil問一問，這樣的痛會否是痛風病的徵兆？Phil聽過我形容後，說我最好去check下。
我摸一摸膝蓋，沒有腫起來，應該沒大礙（自己當起醫生來！）。就當是check過沒事了，帶著禮物直去了Marie的party。她很開心地收下，我與其他朋友談了一會，手裡拿著香檳卻不喝，感到膝蓋的痛一陣又一陣，提早離開。
回到家裡，泡了個熱水浴，灑了大量上次去日本時買的浴鹽，消除疲勞。攤在床上，腳也漸漸好起來，我又自己評估起來，應該是太累，現在沒事了。
在上海幾天我的血液幾乎每秒也有酒精，頭腦幾乎不能清醒，連send一個email也成困難，坐在Sheraton房內書桌前，久久不能動半根指頭，怕send錯。桌上還有一杯品質中等的whisky，我看著酒杯，雖然身在上海而已，卻突然感到自己在很遙遠的地方，很遠，離我所熟悉的，很遠。我感到一種前所未有的疲累，感到一切已逝去很遠的地方，一切都在漸漸退色，我正在消失。這種無比孤單的恐懼，令我伏在桌上，找不到半句話能形容，只靜待自己慢慢溶掉一樣。
是否我在太遠的地方？是否我老了？
生平頭一次，我如此急切熱烈地想回家，急得想立即訂機票，急得想立即飛奔，離開那刻死的房間，那刻死的生活。
勉強過多一天後，終於回家，急得想哭，我不是思念任何人，不是太想家人或我的貓狗，我純粹渴望，見到我熟悉的。
無奈一下機腳就痛，好像你越急，就越不讓你跑。令你心情七上八落，懲罰你的行為，懲罪你的軟弱。越刺痛，越覺孤苦無助。當我終於見到Marie的臉時，很想告訴她過去幾十個小時的想法，不過氣氛不對，不能詳談，卡在心裡，思緒混亂，我還是回家去了。
我看著我的腳，感到自己老了，早就領略過，有些事情是不可挽回，青春也是，我揮發過，也就不能回頭，不能後悔。只是今次，很小事而已，卻莫名奇妙地，令我覺得前所未有的孤單。
心裡惆悵，還答應了Marie一回來就去她的birthday party。我拿著行理，全身的骨頭都在痛，走起來一拐一拐，很擔心地打給做內科的老友Phil問一問，這樣的痛會否是痛風病的徵兆？Phil聽過我形容後，說我最好去check下。
我摸一摸膝蓋，沒有腫起來，應該沒大礙（自己當起醫生來！）。就當是check過沒事了，帶著禮物直去了Marie的party。她很開心地收下，我與其他朋友談了一會，手裡拿著香檳卻不喝，感到膝蓋的痛一陣又一陣，提早離開。
回到家裡，泡了個熱水浴，灑了大量上次去日本時買的浴鹽，消除疲勞。攤在床上，腳也漸漸好起來，我又自己評估起來，應該是太累，現在沒事了。
在上海幾天我的血液幾乎每秒也有酒精，頭腦幾乎不能清醒，連send一個email也成困難，坐在Sheraton房內書桌前，久久不能動半根指頭，怕send錯。桌上還有一杯品質中等的whisky，我看著酒杯，雖然身在上海而已，卻突然感到自己在很遙遠的地方，很遠，離我所熟悉的，很遠。我感到一種前所未有的疲累，感到一切已逝去很遠的地方，一切都在漸漸退色，我正在消失。這種無比孤單的恐懼，令我伏在桌上，找不到半句話能形容，只靜待自己慢慢溶掉一樣。
是否我在太遠的地方？是否我老了？
生平頭一次，我如此急切熱烈地想回家，急得想立即訂機票，急得想立即飛奔，離開那刻死的房間，那刻死的生活。
勉強過多一天後，終於回家，急得想哭，我不是思念任何人，不是太想家人或我的貓狗，我純粹渴望，見到我熟悉的。
無奈一下機腳就痛，好像你越急，就越不讓你跑。令你心情七上八落，懲罰你的行為，懲罪你的軟弱。越刺痛，越覺孤苦無助。當我終於見到Marie的臉時，很想告訴她過去幾十個小時的想法，不過氣氛不對，不能詳談，卡在心裡，思緒混亂，我還是回家去了。
我看著我的腳，感到自己老了，早就領略過，有些事情是不可挽回，青春也是，我揮發過，也就不能回頭，不能後悔。只是今次，很小事而已，卻莫名奇妙地，令我覺得前所未有的孤單。
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